Dr. Paul Standal believes creating a successful relationship is the golden road to personal growth and development. A relationship transitions through stages of develop over time, requiring a couple to grow and develop themselves. Assessing Your Relationship in its current state is a rather important first step in relationship repair and recovery.
Dr. Standal is committed to helping couples contemplating marriage establish a foundation for success through premarital counseling. His goal is to coach and advise couples in fostering a healthy, loving relationship, helping them reestablish healthy relating and communication and by teaching principles of conflict resolution, negotiation and anger management. Though LBGT Relationships presents some unique issues we find the real human need to love and be loved is always the bedrock of relationship development and repair.
Although every couple has strengths to build on, common needs, wants, desires, aspirations and values that provide a foundation for healthy Marital Relationships. However marital discord becomes apparent when one partner’s needs, values, desires or behaviors conflict with those of the their partner. One of the most difficult and complex of these issues for couples is dealing with one or both partners’ abuse or dependence on alcohol, drugs and other compulsive behaviors in their relationship. Probably the most destructive and divisive compulsion to deal with for couples is repairing the loss of trust when there has been a physical infidelity. Equally devastating for many is finding a partner participating in non-physical types of infidelity like anonymous chat rooms, “sexting” or pornography. Though every couple has different values, resilience and ability to implement relationship repair techniques in these cases, addictions, whether to substances or outside sexual contacts, chat or porn, require experienced, skilled, outside intervention.
As relationships develop and change over time the honeymoon period of “skyrockets in flight afternoon delight” fades. Dr. Standal helps mature couples regain their spark by helping them re-establish intimacy and healthy sexual desire for each other.
Unfortunately, though Dr. Standal is pro-relationship, there are situations when the “tapestry of love” between partners has been so damaged that he has to help them negotiate the painful and distressing process of separation and divorce. This process has often been described as a “roller coaster of emotions.” Eventually, and with help, one or both partners in the couple begin to look towards the future, and, again with help, start to sort out the game of dating and being single again and learn to navigate the process of dating.