RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT

 

Place your answer to the questions below on the scale, using a percentage of the time your partner generally displays these behaviors in your relationship. Answer the questions again, assessing how you think your partner would answer the same question, and put the percentage on the scale in parenthesis ( ).

Cooperation

a. We identify, define, and solve our problems together. We respect each other’s competence.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

b. We work together as a team without competing or putting each other down.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

c. We make decisions together. We make the most of what each of us has to contribute.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

d. We share our opinions, thoughts, and ideas without becoming argumentative or defensive.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

e. Overall, I am satisfied with our mutual respect, and cooperation in thinking, deciding, and working.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

Compatibility

a. We accept and work through our differences to find a common lifestyle with regard to social status, public image, and money priorities.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

b. We accept and work through differences to find common values with regard to religion, morality, social concern, politics, and giving to charities.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

c. We accept and work through differences with our social life and choice of friends.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

d. We accept and work through differences so that we are able to share a basic approach to sex roles, family life and parenting children.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

e. Overall, I am satisfied with the way we deal with our differences and build our lifestyle on values we both hold.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

Intimacy

a. We often play together. We put fun into what we do together.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

b. We express our feelings openly and freely. We say when we are scared, sad, hurting, angry, or happy.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

c. We tell each other what we like and dislike. We ask openly for what we want from each other.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

d. We “let go” sexually with each other. Sex is playful, close, and free from pressures or resistance.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

e. Overall, I am satisfied with the level of openness and intimacy in our relationship.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

Emotional Support

a. We listen, understand, and empathize with each other’s disappointments, hurts, or problems.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

b. We encourage and support each other when one of us is making basic life changes or trying new behaviors.

Rarely                                                                                                                                       Often
(0————————————————————————————————————100)

c. We are responsive and nurturing when either of us is sick or hurting.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

d. We are emotionally supportive of each other when either of us feels anxious, dependent, or wants to be cared for.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)

e. Overall, I am satisfied with the nurture and support we give and receive from each other.

Rarely                                                                                                                                        Often
(0————————————————————————————————————-100)