PREMARITAL AND POST WEDDING RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT

 

Before the Wedding

1. How do I feel as our wedding date nears?

2. “This is my parents” attitude on our coming marriage and this is how it makes me feel…

3. What kind of relationship do I hope we can have with our parents?

4. I feel most comfortable with you when…

5. I feel most uncomfortable with you when…

6. Here are 2 ways we differ…(describe fully)

7. Here are 2 ways we are alike…(describe fully)

8. I have discovered I am very dependent on you in these areas…

9. I think you misunderstand me in this area…

10. Lately I have felt closest to you when…

11. Lately I have felt distant from you when…

12. My greatest interest and concern, other than our relationship, is… How will it affect our relationship?

13. Here is a feeling (attitude, opinion) of mine that I think may surprise you…

14. This is how I see myself in a group…

15. Here is the best quality you bring to our relationship…(describe fully)

16. How many nights a week do I plan to be out of the house alone? How do I see this affecting our relationship?

17. Who will handle our money?

18. Do I look on marriage as a contract or as a sacrament?

19. I want our wedding in church because…, or I don’t want our wedding function in church because…

20. Exchanging marriage vows with you means…to me.

21. What does it mean to me to “live our sacrament”?

22. How do I feel about praying together?

23. How do I feel about reading scripture with you?

24. How can we grow closer to God? or Do I want us to grow closer to God?

25. In our marriage, God will be…

26. This is how I feel about going to weekly Mass…

27. When we go to church together, I feel. ..

28. When we can’t go to church together, I feel…

29. What are my feelings about the reactions of our friends or relatives to our upcoming marriage?

30. How am I different since our engagement?

31. How are we different since our engagement?

32. How can we encourage a couple to attend an Engaged Encounter?

Before and After the Wedding

33. This is how I feel about talking to your parents…

34. This is how I feel about talking to my parents…

35. Here are the things I like most about you…

36. This is the strongest feeling I had today and I’d like to share it with you…

37. What was the nicest thing you did for me this week?

38. These are my feelings about sex and they make me feel…

39. How do I feel about telling you my sexual feelings?

40. When we fight, I feel…

41. What are my feelings when you say “I’m sorry”?

42. How do I feel when I ask you for forgiveness?

43. Share a tender moment between us and how does thinking about that moment make me feel?

44. What are my feelings when we attend a marriage ceremony?

45. What are my feelings about our spiritual growth as a couple?

46. What are my feelings when I want to be with you and can’t?

47. What are my feelings about learning to accept you as you are?

48. When you hold my hand in public, I feel…

49. When you kiss me unexpectedly, I feel…

50. When you say “I love you,” I feel…

51. This is how I feel about showing affection in front of others…

52. This is how I feel about family gatherings…

53. When we do a job together, I feel…

54. When you call me from work, I feel…

55. What are my feelings about our dialogue (or lack of dialogue)?

After the Wedding

56. How do I feel when the house is a mess?

57. How do I feel when your parents visit us?

58. How do I feel when my parents visit us?

59. How do I feel when our routines cause us to be separated?

60. How do I feel about taking on a domestic activity as a couple?

61. How do I feel when we plan something together? (vacation, budget, etc.)

62. How do I feel when your/my job separates us overnight?

63. How do I see myself as a husband/wife?

64. How do I see you as a husband/wife?

65. What are my feelings when I am aware that you have had a bad day?

66. How do I feel when I see you after a long day of being separated?

67. How do I feel when you hug me after a rough day?

68. What are my feelings about ending my day lying in bed next to you?

69. How do I feel when you touch me?

70. What sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches excite me and how does revealing this to you make me feel?

71. How do I feel about sex in the morning?

72. Have I consciously or unconsciously set standards for frequency of intercourse? How does my answer make me feel?

73. When have I felt most wanted by you?

74. What are my feelings about going out socially? Together? Separately?

75. What are my feelings when I find a note you have left me?

76. Do I ever feel God present in our sacrament?

77. How do I feel about the atmosphere in our home?

78. The next holiday coming is… This is how I’d like to spend it.

79. What is one way that our marriage hasn’t been what I expected?

80. Is our relationship our first priority? How does my answer make me feel?