Predictive Conditions for a Satisfying Stable Sexual Marriage

1. Growing up in an intact function family
2. Parents were a good, not-perfect marital and sexual model
3. Both parents function well psychologically
4. At least 21 at time of marriage and not pregnant
5. Marry for positive reasons: to share your life with your spouse. Marriage not driven by negative motivations, such as fear of loneliness, parental or peer pressure or to rescue a floundering life.
6. Know partner for at least a year
7. Commonalities in terms of economic class, race, religion and education
8. Physical attraction with potential for an intimate sexual relationship
9. On the same page with regard to life organization, work, money, children, where to live
10. Support of family and friends
11. Prospective spouse is seen as a respectful trusting friend who has your back
12. If cohabitating, treating the marital decision as a proactive choice, not a sliding into marriage
13. Sharing important information about self with no major secrets, especially infidelities
14. Marital bond of respect, trust and intimacy grows stronger and more resilient in first two years of marriage
15. Develop a satisfactory style of handling differences and conflicts
16. Wait 2 years before birth of a planned, wanted child
17. Develop a comfortable, functional, couple sexual style which integrates intimacy, pleasuring and eroticism
18. Accept that approximately 30% of problems are resolvable, 50 to 60% are modifiable and 10-20% need to be accepted and coped with
19. Maintain positive personal and marital expectations
20. Utilize the guidelines of 5-to-1 positive-to-negative sets of thoughts , feelings and behaviors towards your spouse