LGBTQ RELATIONSHIPS ISSUES

Gay and lesbian couples experience many of the same issues in building a healthy relationship that heterosexual couples experience. However, there are several factors that are unique to a same-sex relationship situation.

Because coming out is a process, unique to each of the partners, differences in each person’s psychological readiness to fully embrace their sexual orientation can require relationship help by a professional. Gay and lesbian couples can experience financial, cultural and legal pressures and prejudices that are important to deal with by a professional. Issues of child rearing, aging and retirement planning can also be areas of stress and conflict. Especially important are helping gay and lesbian couples deal with different gender-based cultural and socialization issues that affect intimacy, commitment and individuation. It is important to understand that cultural values foster male individualism, leading to greater individuation and competition in gay male relationships, while female cultural imperatives value relationship, leading to more enmeshment and loss of boundary in female same-sex relationships.

It is imperative to seek professional help when one partner in a heterosexual relationship finds that they are gay or have real attractions to the same sex.