BUILDING A HEALTHY GAY RELATIONSHIP

Just as there is no single “heterosexual lifestyle,” there is no single “gay lifestyle.” Each person and relationship is different. But no matter what the situation, enduring relationships require commitment, time and work. Gay and lesbian couples, however, often face issues that heterosexual couples do not. For example, a heterosexual marriage usually has family approval. Although society is becoming more accepting of homosexual relationships, families often withhold their support from same-sex couples. You and your partner will probably have to cope with some negative attitudes, prejudice, and even outright rejection from parts of your extended family. And, while heterosexual couples have historically had role models, those for gay and lesbian couples remain scarce.

Dr. Paul Standal feels that family counseling is imperative when relationship stressors become an obstacle to building and establishing a healthy, long-term, committed relationship. Gay and lesbian couples do face additional stressors, such as relative comfort with their sexual identity and “outness.” He assists couples in the transition from a purely sexual relationship to one of friendship and shared compatibility. This is necessary to transition into a committed relationship that allows the positive regard to grow between partners.

Some of the issues to be dealt with are those that are addressed in traditional pre-marital counseling. Teaching communication skills, conflict resolution and negotiation as well as relationship repair after an argument is as essential to gay couples as with straight ones. Dr. Standal also helps couples manage different values and attitudes about money, finances and budgeting for needs verses wants.

Dr. Standal helps couples foster a stable, mature relationship that helps you and your partner resolve conflicts about love, affection, trust, fidelity, friendships, work, and other issues, like becoming parents. Helping you keep the fire of love and intimacy burning can be even more challenging to same-sex couples as to those in heterosexual relationships.