The following questions are important to address in pre-marital counseling. They may be somewhat difficult to answer from the standpoint of a pre-marital status. However, they are questions that will come up in one form or another as you move through the stages of your marital relationship. Even if you cannot answer them definitively now, they are certainly issues for which it is helpful to be aware throughout your relationship. They can act as a roadmap to your relational growth and development.
It is best to answer them on your own and to then share your answers with your prospective spouse for discussion in session if you are in pre-marital counseling.
1. What are my goals for myself in the areas of:
a. Career: ultimate work I would like to perform
b. Family: number of children, relationship to parents, in-laws
c. Possessions: home, car, furniture, clothes
d. Individual/Personal: appearance, education, talent, and expression
e. Spiritual: church or spiritual group, prayer or spiritual discipline, charity
2. In what specific ways do I see our values similar?
3. In what specific ways are our values different?
4. What do I want most to achieve for us?
5. What goals do I see for our marriage in five years?
6. What needs do I have that I hope to have met within this marriage?
7. What changes do I expect to make (have to make) in our next five years?
8. What most unites us/separates us?
9. I need your help in these ways…/I can help you in these ways…
10. What values do we want to give our children?
11. What are we doing for other people?
12. How do I validate you/how do you validate me?
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