Therapeutic Goals In Sex Counseling

Since the publication of the Kinsey Report in the late 40’s and the original work of Masters and Johnson, understanding and improving sexual intimacy and the sexual experience has become an increasingly important area of examination in the therapy room. As the sexual part of our life has come to be seen as a legitimate part of our full expression as human beings and partners, understanding the variables incumbent to increased desire and eroticism has become a hallmark of successful relationship therapy. For Dr. Paul Standal, reinforcing realistic expectations around the act of sex and intercourse, and examining conditions of worth around sexuality and the meaning of sex, has become an essential part of helping couples.

Some sexual problems, like painful sex or vaginismus in women, can be attributed to medical issues. However, psychosexual education as well as the resolution of relational blocks to healthy sex, such as the residual effects of past sexual trauma, infidelity, resentment or distrust, are the hallmark of good couples’ counseling in the area of sex.

Though sexual intercourse continues with most couples, the “Skyrockets in Flight, Afternoon Delight” stage of sexually exciting, erotic flow, reinforced by flowing neurotransmitters, usually lasts 6 months to 2 years. It is estimated that one in five married couples are non-sexual and one in three couples living together for two years or longer have become non-sexual.

Dr. Standal finds that a desire discrepancy between partners is a common situation. His goal in therapy is to revitalize a couple’s sexual desire for one another and help them maintain that sexual desire, resulting in increased erotic flow and sexual satisfaction. An important way to do this is to help a couple develop a comfortable, functional sexual style as an intimate team taking personal responsibility for what each wants to give or receive sexually, with positive anticipation and feelings of deserving sexual satisfaction without guilt, blame and pressure. Dr. Standal helps couples take emotional risks to open up sexual communication and helps them design creative ways to unlock their erotic blocks stemming from shame, fear, guilt and trauma.

Dr. Standal helps provide sexual education and medical referral assistance for both males and females who are experiencing sexual dysfunctions, such as premature ejaculation and ejaculatory inhibition, pain during intercourse, and lack of desire.