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VALUES AND POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP QUALITY ASSESSMENT
Below is a list of seventeen personal values and life goals to which you may aspire. In addition are seventeen qualities you may want in your committed relationship, arranged in alphabetical order. Dr. Paul Standal finds it very helpful for his single and premarital clients to have a clear understanding and awareness of the relative importance of the values and the qualities they desire in any committed relationship. It is interesting to note that, when you declare the importance of these qualities in your life, they tend to show up. Your task is to arrange them in order of their importance to you as guiding principles in YOUR life.
Study the list carefully. Then place a 1 next to the value that is most important for you; place a 2 next to the value that is second most important to you, etc. The value which is least important, relative to the others, should be rated 3.
Work slowly and carefully. If you change your mind feel free to change your answers. The end result should truly show how you really feel.
| Value | Rating |
|---|---|
| A comfortable life (a prosperous life) | 1 2 3 |
| Equality (brotherhood, equal opportunity for all) | 1 2 3 |
| An exciting life (a stimulating, active life) | 1 2 3 |
| Daily security (taking care of loved ones) | 1 2 3 |
| Freedom (independence, free choice) | 1 2 3 |
| Happiness (contentedness) | 1 2 3 |
| Inner harmony (freedom from inner conflict) | 1 2 3 |
| Mature love (sexual and spiritual intimacy) | 1 2 3 |
| National Security (protection from attack) | 1 2 3 |
| Leisure (enjoyable, leisurely life) | 1 2 3 |
| Spiritual Salvation (deliverance from sin, eternal life) | 1 2 3 |
| Self-respect (self-esteem) | 1 2 3 |
| A sense of accomplishment (making a lasting contribution) | 1 2 3 |
| Social recognition (respect, admiration) | 1 2 3 |
| True friendship (close companionship) | 1 2 3 |
| A world at peace (freedom from war and conflict) | 1 2 3 |
| A world of beauty (beauty of nature and the arts) | 1 2 3 |
| Other: | 1 2 3 |
In the same manner, rank the following characteristic in importance that you want to have in a committed partner.
| Characteristic | Rating |
|---|---|
| Ambitious (hard-working, aspiring) | 1 2 3 |
| Broadminded (open-minded) | 1 2 3 |
| Capable (competent, effective) | 1 2 3 |
| Cheerful (lighthearted, joyful) | 1 2 3 |
| Clean (neat, tidy) | 1 2 3 |
| Courageous (standing up for your beliefs) | 1 2 3 |
| Forgiving (willing to pardon others ) | 1 2 3 |
| Helpful (working for the welfare of others) | 1 2 3 |
| Honest (sincere, truthful) | 1 2 3 |
| Imaginative (daring, creative) | 1 2 3 |
| Independent (self-reliant, self-sufficient) | 1 2 3 |
| Intellectual (intelligent, reflective) | 1 2 3 |
| Logical (consistent, rational) | 1 2 3 |
| Loving (affectionate, tender) | 1 2 3 |
| Obedient (dutiful, respectful) | 1 2 3 |
| Polite (courteous, well-mannered) | 1 2 3 |
| Self-controlled (restrained, self-disciplined) | 1 2 3 |
| Other: | 1 2 3 |
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Dr. Paul Standal
Lindsey Woodburn
Psychological Assistant