Loving a person with alcoholism can be as painful as having the disease yourself. In this situation, Dr. Paul Standal STRONGLY recommends you seek professional help through your doctor or a mental health counselor. Programs such as Al-Anon can also be very helpful.

Things to Keep in Mind when Attempting to Help Your Alcoholic Partner

• Do not confront a person who is drunk. This is not the time to address the problem, and, besides, he most likely will forget anything you say.

• If you decide to confront your partner, do it lovingly.

• If your loved one is close to losing a job or you, these may be external motivating factors that will push her into treatment, even if she is not ready.

• If you feel that your partner is a danger to himself or others, do not hesitate to call the police or send him to the emergency room.

A trained professional may ask you to initiate an intervention. In an intervention, friends and loved ones confront the alcohol-dependent person with the reality of her disease. Individuals present their feelings about the person’s drinking and the group talks about the consequences of the drinker’s behavior. Sometimes leverage—such as loss of a medical license or threat of divorce—is needed to force the person into treatment. Your partner may be angry, but that is preferable to watching her die.