Due to the EMDR institute and training he has received, Dr. Paul Standal has included below a list of positive affirmations to counter common negative thoughts/cognitions. These negative thoughts/cognitions may be deep self-attributions affecting you and fueling your negativity and relapse behaviors. Choose the negative ones that seem most appropriate or personally familiar to you and use the alternative, positive attributions to counter them when your recovery is in jeopardy.
Negative Cognitions | Positive Cognitions |
---|---|
I don’t deserve love | I deserve love; I can have love |
I am a bad person | I am a good, loving person |
I am terrible | I am fine as I am |
I am shameful | I am honorable |
I am not lovable | I am loveable |
I am not good enough | I am deserving |
I deserve only bad things | I deserve good things |
I am permanently damaged | I am and can be healthy |
I am ugly my body is hateful | I am fine, attractive and lovable |
I do not deserve | I can have or deserve |
I am stupid; not smart enough | I am intelligent; able to learn |
I am insignificant; unimportant | I am significant; important |
I am a disappointment | I am OK just the way I am |
I deserve to die | I deserve to live |
I deserve to be miserable | I deserve to be happy |
I am different; don’t belong | I am OK just as I am |
I should have done something | I did the best I could |
I did something wrong | I learned and can learn from it |
I should’ve known better | I do the best I can; I can learn |
Safety/Vulnerability
Negative Cognitions | Positive Cognitions |
---|---|
I cannot be trusted | I can be trusted |
I cannot trust myself | I can learn to trust myself |
I cannot trust my judgment | I can trust my judgment |
I cannot trust anyone | I can choose whom to trust |
I cannot protect myself | I can learn to take care of myself now |
I am in danger | It’s over; I am safe now |
It is not OK to show my emotions | I can safely feel and show my emotions |
I cannot stand up for myself | I can make my needs known |
I cannot let it out | I can choose to let it out |
Control/Choices
Negative Cognitions | Positive Cognitions |
---|---|
I am not in control | I am now in control |
I am powerless; helpless | I have choices |
I am weak | I am strong |
I cannot get what I want | I can get what I want |
I am a failure; will fail | I can succeed |
I cannot succeed | I can succeed |
I have to be perfect; please everyone | I can be myself and make mistakes |
I cannot stand it; I am inadequate | I can handle it; I am capable |
I cannot trust anyone | I can choose whom to trust |
God doesn’t love me | God loves me |
I am a bad person | I am a good person |
I am alone; no one loves me | I am loved |
I am incapable and incompetent | I have many talents |
I am a victim | I am not a victim |
I feel hopeless and helpless | I look forward to each new day |
I need to control others to be safe | I no longer feel the need to control others |
I have to be liked, no matter what | I will be who I am |
I am worthless; I am no good | I affirm my worth and goodness |
I am a hateful person | I am a loving person |
I am weak and incapable | I am a strong, capable person |
I am alone | I am not alone |
I am anxious and fearful | I am emotionally calm |
I am unworthy of respect | I respect myself |
I am sad | I feel happy |
I am conflicted with myself | I am at peace with myself |
I am an irresponsible person | I am a responsible person |
Life is a serious business | I can be playful |
I cannot trust my thoughts and emotions | I can trust my thoughts and emotions |
I just don’t trust people | I trust people |
I am often indecisive | I make decisions confidently |
I am angry and abrasive with those around me | I touch those near me with love and gentleness |
I am confused about my life | I have a new awareness of my life |
I don’t know what my needs are | I acknowledge my needs |
There is no God | I allow God to enter my life today; I trust in the serenity my God provides |
I am anxious and agitated | I am calm and tranquil |
I am overwhelmed with my fears | I can face my fears & work to overcome them |
My life is out of control | I take full charge of my life today |
I am driven by anxiety and agitation | I let serenity flow into my life |
I am unappreciated | I feel appreciated today |
I am always used by others | I can give to others with no strings attached |
I am dependent on others | I am independent |
I am scared to take on new options | I can meet new opportunities without fear |
I feel unconscious | I am alert |
I am easily intimidated | I will not be intimidated |
I am sorrowful | I am joyful |
I am isolated; no one likes me | I will seek out friends today |
I have no friends | I am a friendly person |
I don’t listen to anyone | I am a good listener |
I dwell on the past | I do not dwell on the past |
I’m afraid to take on new challenges | I look for new challenges |
I feel incomplete | I feel complete today |
Life is hopeless | I feel great hope; I feel great potential for myself; I feel surrounded by love; I can make things happen; I feel relaxed |
I am overwhelmed by life’s challenges | I am a resourceful person |
I judge people harshly | I do not judge others; I need to take care of myself and am tactful in my dealings with others at all costs |
I withhold my love from others | I am learning to express my love |
I feel terrible about myself | I feel good about myself |
I can’t express my feelings | I express my feelings |
I make dumb choices | I make wise choices |
I am unkind and impatient with myself | I treat myself with kindness and patience |
I am unimportant as a person | I am an important person |
I do not respect my own boundaries | I am beginning to establish my limits |
I am victimized by the world | I am in charge of my life; I forgive myself and others who have hurt me |
I hate myself | I am a friend to myself |
Life is hard and serious; you can’t play | I can enjoy leisure without guilt and anxiety |
I stuff my anger | I can express my anger openly, honestly and appropriately; I open my heart to my inner child |
I get my feelings hurt | I can handle criticism with ease |
General Positive Affirmations for Recovery
Today I will put all negativity behind me
Today I view my childhood without shame
Today I have confidence
Today I will rejoice in my abilities
Today I am a new person
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