Anger is an emotion that is useful and necessary as well as harmful. We teach anger management skills as well as interventions for resolving the underlying reasons for an individual’s anger
MALADAPTIVE EXPRESSIONS OF ANGER
BLAMING: Response is usually defensive. “You did this…,” name calling, not taking responsibility, “getting on other person’s case.”
SARCASM: A distancing, no risk involved, not vulnerable.
VIOLENCE: The more pain underneath, the more the violence. Comes from holding down, from not expressing the anger, a volcanic eruption.
VINDICTIVENESS: A tit for a tat. Control used so I don’t feel one down. Getting even. Vindictive thoughts or fantasies may be useful for resolution if I don’t act on them.
VICIOUSNESS: Used to distance. Hitting below the belt. When people get close, you get panicky. Taking advantage of the other’s vulnerability, betrayal.
PUNISHMENT: Comes from suppression of anger. “I’m punishing you for what you did to me.” Control element, getting even.
SADISM: Often abused as children. Can only be sadistic to someone smaller and weaker than self. Sadist feels powerful in the sadistic act. Practical jokes are often sadistic.
AGGRESSION: Pushiness, intrusion, being insensitive to the needs of others, bullying.
WITHHOLDING: Silence that is hostile and controlling.
MANIPULATION: Control used for intimidating others. A way of getting what you want without asking.
SCAPEGOATING: Yelling at the kids or “kicking the dog” (instead of telling your boss that you’re angry with him).
PASSIVE/STONEWALLING: Don’t say anything. Use manipulation to get what you want.
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