Skilled thoughtful communication is the foundation for satisfying relationships. We teach effective, assertive communication skills along with conflict resolution and negotiation to individuals, couples and families.
HOW TO GIVE GOOD FEEDBACK
Feedback is a way of giving information to a person, whether as to how their behavior is affecting you or others around you. Effective feedback is an observation that allows others to change their behaviors. Good feedback may include feelings or emotions that are associated with the behavior on which the feedback is focused. Developing feedback skills is beneficial in maintaining a successful relationship. Feedback that is not done well leads to ill will and fighting and can be disastrous to an otherwise constructive relationship.
Characteristics of Effective Feedback
Good feedback focuses on the behavior, rather than the person.
Good feedback is focused on observations, rather than inferences or hunches about another person.
Good feedback focuses on the descriptions of behaviors, rather than judgments about them, whether “bad or good.”
Good feedback focuses on ideas and information, rather than evaluations of bad or good.
Good feedback focuses on the exploration of alternatives, rather than concrete answers or solutions.
Good feedback is also sensitive to the amount of information given, whether too overwhelming which cannot be processed adequately or too little, giving the receiver too little data to make changes.
Good feedback is also focused on what is said, rather than why it was said or what was behaved rather then why it was done.
Good feedback is specific and descriptive rather than general and evaluated
Good feedback focuses on the behavior rather than a determination of the person’s personality.
Good feedback is feeling-based, describing how the other’s behavior has affected either to giver or receiver in terms of their feelings about that behavior.
Good feedback is about something that the other person has control of.
When giving feedback, it is important to make sure that the receiver is ready to receive it. This prevents feelings of being ambushed and reduces defensiveness.
Good feedback reduces anxiety in the receiver by asking permission before they give feedback
Good feedback is best when it is solicited rather than imposed.
Good feedback is well-timed, being provided right after the focused behavior has happened.
Good feedback is good communicating with the use of active listening and reflective responses as most important tools.
Good feedback is not for dumping or unloading on another person; it’s about helping that other person rather than dumping your own resentments.
Good feedback stays within the bounds of the target behavior and one’s reactions to that behavior.
Good feedback is not motivated by our need to be right and the fear of losing self-regard.
Good feedback requires trust from both parties, both the giver of the observation and the receiver.
Giving good feedback is a win-win proposition, rather than a win-lose proposition.
Good feedback is provided in a noncompetitive environment within a context of positive regard.
Knowing that the other person has your back is the most important context for the best feedback.
Active listening is also a very important component of giving and receiving good feedback.
Positive feedback, if done well, is welcomed by the receiver, if it’s done in a context of positive regard and well meaning
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