We have thirty years of experience in family and relationship therapy. We teach healthy parenting skills especially with difficult adolescents and young adults. We help families deal with addiction as well as depression and anxiety that affect the family system
BEHAVIORS INDICATING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR POWER AND CONTROL
Domestic violence is not just about physical threats, it is about the manipulation and cohesion applied in a relationship in order to gain or maintain control of the partner. Why a partner in a relationship would need to control the relationship through coercion, threats of violence, terror or the withdrawal of love and support in order to maintain dominance is a complex question. It is easy to say that such a person sees the world with a level of insecurity, fear, or animosity and cannot allow another to have self-will to choose freely from their own healthy self-interest. Instead, they must keep the partner subjugated to their will at all times. To allow the partner to leave or to have choice in their actions is to lose control with the possibility of loss of power or sense of self-efficacy. They cannot allow themselves to feel that they are in some way less than or not in charge. They must be in charge of the relationship in order to feel some sense of personal power no matter what the consequences.
Below is a list of behaviors indicative of the narcissistic partner’s strategies to dominate, manipulate or coerce in order to stay in control of the partner. In the end, the narcissistic partner can only hope to control the other’s body. In the end, the other must allow their own golden kernel of self-efficacy to take control, even in the face of threat, to take on their own sense of self.
Using Coercion and Threats
Instilling or attempting to instill fear
Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her